Asking a writer what's wrong with adverbs is a bit like asking an artist what's wrong with ultramarine blue. In some situations, ultramarine blue is perfect for the desired effect and in others, it simply will not work. Thus, the real question becomes "What will best produce the desired result?"
Most prose is written to inform. If one engages the reader's intellect, convincing that reader to accept the information and conclusions, one has achieved the desired result.
Rather than leading the reader to a set of conclusions, fictional prose seeks to engage both the intellect and the imagination by dramatizing events. Fiction seeks to vicariously draw a reader into a scene by dramatically recreating the events and details with words. Thus, the desired effect of those words is to engage the reader's imagination.
Verbs and adverbs should not be prejudged as "good or bad" but by the effect they help to create. For example:
Nell was frightened by the lump on the bed. Reluctantly, she drew back the covers.
This informs and summarizes rather than dramatizes. It tells the reader how she feels. Contrast it with:
Nell stared at the lump on the bed. Slowly, she grasped the covers and drew them back.
or:
Nell stared at the lump on the bed. She cautiously grasped the covers and drew them back.
or:
Nell stared at the lump on the bed. She grasped the covers and carefully drew them back.
or:
Nell stared at the lump on the bed. Fearfully, she grasped the covers and drew them back.
This last example is the weakest because it again tells the reader how Nell feels. The adverbs, cautiously, carefully and slowly more aptly show her attitude rather than informing the reader. If the intent is to engage by dramatizing or showing the event, adverbs that summarize or tell are less effective. This is especially true when such summarizing adverbs as fearfully, angrily, sadly, etc. are used with a dialogue tag. "He said angrily" tells the reader how he spoke rather than dramatizing with actions or body language. Consider the following dramatization of the earlier examples:
Eyes wide, Nell stared at the lump on the bed. She slowly extended a trembling hand, grasped the frilly bedspread, and with a single jerk, whipped back the covers.
Note that to use "fearfully" instead of "slowly" would have been summarizing or telling what was being shown dramatically. In this instance, "slowly" suggests Nell's fearful, hesitant state of mind balanced against a determination to act. Of all the examples, this one suggests the emotions in a dramatic manner that most effectively makes the reader appreciate Nell's courage and determination while creating suspense about what lies under the covers. The added details add to the dramatization, which supports one of my personal guidelines:
Whenever possible, dramatize with supporting sensory details.
Strong verbs and active adverbs may produce an effective dramatization, but to truly draw the reader into the scene, sensory details work best. In other words, it is often not enough to select an active verb. Consider the following:
He was running up the hill.
or:
He ran up the hill.
or:
Arms pumping, he pounded up the hill, every gasping breath stabbing a sharp pain into his side.
The first is the weakest because it sums up rather than creating a dramatic picture. The last is the most effective because it contains sensory details that more effectively draw the reader into the consciousness or point of view of the runner.
One of the basic goals of fictional prose is to draw the reader into the fictional reality by activating imagination. Dramatizing with strong verbs and supporting sensory details creates prose that is more likely to engage the imagination. Just as an artist selects colors for best effect, a writer of fiction should select words that most effectively dramatize the story.
© 2000 Dave Swinford.
